Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
