My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
