sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
So. Much. Porn.
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