Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
