I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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