Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
