forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
