Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
