That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
