He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Randomize
