you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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