Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
