Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Randomize
