OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
