I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
how does that bad decision feel?
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