I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
