I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Randomize
