I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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