He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
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Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
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our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Couch. On fire.
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