last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
It's rum buckets o'clock
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