Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
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