we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
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