Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
