What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
