I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
