omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
