tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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