i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
then he tried to convert me to islam
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
My vagina is very pro this idea
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