he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
My vagina just recognized that song.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
