Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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