Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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