He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
