you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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