we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize