We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
