my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
My day in three words: secret purse cake
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