I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
