the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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