Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
