I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
i've created a new STD.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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