you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
