Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
