you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Randomize
