Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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