Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
