he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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