And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
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