So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
