and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I have a pirate flag
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize