You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
