That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
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