If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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