Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
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