I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize