the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
