The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
