Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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