try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Of course I have a pirate flag
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
