so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
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