Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
