Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
