Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
