Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
