Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
