You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
