Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
